Santa Claus in my Cave: Story-living and Professional Coaching

Hi all, Human Fellows.
In this month I’ve been consciously moved through my hero journey for the umpteenth time and, of course, I got into the cave where I had to cope up with my so-called enemies. And there, to my great surprise and joy, I met Santa Claus, too!

Let’s start from the beginning. You might have heard of the journey of the hero, which is a real travel from a present state of being to a higher one, both in terms of a structure of a story (story-telling) and in terms of self- growing experience in real life (story-living).

Have you ever embarked on your own hero journey yourself? It all starts with a need, a desire of changing something in yourself and in your life, it goes through the meeting with the mentor and or the finding of your magic tool, it takes you down to the inmost cave where you have to face your own shadow and then back up to the surface of the conscious world, where you find yourself enriched with learnings and benefits you could have never imagined before.

I feel very grateful to myself to have the courage to get down to the cave of the unconscious again, also because the more I do it the more I get confident with the revealing process. Every time, the faith that “the struggling will bring joy” turns into a stronger certainty. What I love the most is that I trust that this learning and joys could be shared. According to what Ubuntu states: “I am because you are”, each learning, every single and tiny one, is a gift at the same time for me and for all human beings (and creatures and all the Universe, I would add), because we are all One and somehow linked together.

When I set off for my journey the desire, I wanted to make true and visible in my life was the second ICF core competence: “embodying the coaching mindset”. It has to do with being open, curious, client-centered as a coach and being present to your client with all your mind and heart as a human being. Here I want to unbosom a secret: my purpose in life is to be a channel through which Good Will, Wise Love and Adaptable Intelligence may stream. I want to proceed aligned with this. Can you see how the core competence sounded familiar and appealing to me? The way I imagine it living in me was so close to my purpose in life that I felt brave, joyful and ready to move further on my hero journey.

In a wide meadow dotted with red poppies, I found an emerald stick which vibrated in the air singing: “Love is simple. Love is the way”. I grabbed it and pierced it into the ground: the soil opened under my feet and down I went into the cave.

So what happened in the cave this time? It was all black, although a bit less black than usual:  I could see here and there some tiny sparks, that I perceived as refreshing drops of self-compassion. Sitting at the bottom of this cave of mine, I met with some aspects of my dark shadow… the Screaming Fear of being judged and rejected for who I am now and the Whispering Need of knowing in advance to have control over things and protect myself. You know, they looked like those disgraceful people you would not even look in the eyes, let alone have a cup of coffee with. I was used to consider them as my enemies, though, they were (and still are) part of me. Holding my stick tight and keeping my eyes away from theirs, I wondered how I could combine them with the rooted and bright belief that I want to express Love.

You know what? I was in the cave and didn’t know… I didn’t know how to do it… at all. I tried to consider options, tricks, mantras, everything that could take me out of there when a Christmas jingle resounded in my ears. I was stuck in that reasoning as a too fat Santa Claus in a too small chimney: no way up, no way down. There I realized not knowing was ok…Yeah! When you don’t know, you don’t know anything, you can observe and listen. To yourself, to what surrounds you:  you can even have a talk with Screaming Fear and Whispering Need. I’m still having some talks with them after having ignored them for so many years…

Honestly, I had forgotten about the jingle, when Santa Claus drew closer to me, lifted my face with the kindness of a man who embodies love for all human beings, regardless of their “being good or bad”, and said: “You are the chimney, you are the channel… let it flow! Ho Ho Ho…”.

I trust our One-Heart. I’ve been learning trusting it, actually, with all my bodies: spiritual, mental, emotional and physical. Differently from the spiritual level where intuition reigns, the other levels of existence need time and patience and care and practise, you know: repetition. I want to take care of them as a lovely Mother. With a natural rhythm.

You might don’t know or maybe you guess it: I felt you all there in the cave with me.

A story is not only something I want to tell: it’s something I want to imagine, draw and live according to what I believe in. Thank you for being part of my story-living.

Stay tuned: I’ll be back with some more story-living!


What’s the learning I’m emerged out of the cave with?  Well, I got out with 3 gifts:

  • Santa Claus’ resonant laugh which will help me considering the light side of things
  • The long-term advantage of not knowing which teaches flexibility and trust
  • The will to get there into that same cave over and over again to dedicate time and energy to the shadows until they turn into light. I know they will. Everything can be transformed: energy flows where your thoughts go.

What am I doing different from now on, in my life?  I’ll remind myself my purpose, which is fire to me and I’ll laugh together with Santa Claus and you all, as if Santa were here to say: “Life is easy. Love is simple”.

How am I going to use my purpose – expressing Love – to grow as a professional ICF coach, now?

  • I’ll remember of it while practicing during classes: what happens is for the best. It’s a channel itself: stay in there, with faith and grace
  • I’ll remember it while practicing with my colleagues and clients: attentive and trustful presence to the client, to the process, to myself
  • I’ll listen actively to everything the client says and shows, I’ll mirror it succinctly and ask the client the meaning it has for him/her: everything is a gift. It’s up to the client whether to use it or not and how.

Am I done now? Shall we celebrate myself as a hero? I’m not done at all. I’m in the process and yeah… I feel like celebrating because I’m moving forward and, step by step, getting closer to my desire.

It would be great to hear from you about your experiences in the cave or whatever you want to share.



Romina’s links:



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